No one else can ever love u more than I do...

You fool… Injured again? Happy?

Wow! What a way to ask… Just leave it. I don’t want you to be here.

What’s new in that?

Still… better u leave me alone.

What still? Don’t make excuses.

Hmm…

Hello? Say something… I know u can talk.

The way ur talking is making me more irritating and ur asking me to respond? How can you even think of it? Don’t you know anything?

Yes! I know…

Then why the hell are you asking me again? Go leave me alone.

You’re already alone. How much loneliness you want?

Hmmm…..

If I also leave you alone then who will take care of you my dear sweet heart?

You call this caring? Great! Thanks a lot… I don’t need your advices or your shoulders to cry upon.

Who’s giving away? Me? No. I am just asking you something.

What something? There’s nothing hidden from you. Don’t you know that? I have lost faith and interest. I don’t want anything, anyone… All I want is a place where I can stay up alone leaving all this shit and go for a long deep sleep so that no one or no matter can make me awake. And now I know you wanted to call me a loser, useless or any of your crap again. Well call me anything… it doesn’t matter me anything. I have become quite numb.

Numb? If you have become numb then you would have never felt yourself this way.

Hmm…

Is this the first time that you feel like dying?

NO!

Then what’s new in this? You felt like this similarly before and you came out of it later, don’t you?

Never like this. But somehow similar, it’s all because I am attached to few things that don’t allow me to leave anything and follow what I want. But it took a lot of time for me to realize.

Look around! You’re no special. There are so many crying souls like you.

I know. Stop your lecture.

Let me complete… what I am saying is that there are so many souls in this world and how are you different?

So?

So… if you behave the same way like them then what’s the difference between you and those morons? You feel that your pain is something that no one can understand. But who actually wants to know? None!

Don’t ever compare me with anyone…. Yea there is no one in this world who could understand me, that’s why I don’t want to live in this world. I have all rights to do what I want… better you don’t interfere.

You have that right, Fine! But you don’t have any right to ardor which is not yours.

Ohkk…. Next?

What next? Do what ur good at.

I’m good at nothing.

Don’t be a pessimist! Desire for something good…

Desire? Lol… you just now said not to ardor for something which is not yours then what’s the need of thinking about the things which I already have? You know something? You yourself are more confused than me.

Guess your right! But one thing I know for sure is that if anything you dream that ll be yours someday or the other.

Rofl… lol.. hahaha…. =))

Will u shut up?

I wont… if u can say whatever you wanted? Why cant i?

Because I am your senior.

Senior? In what way? We entered this life together.

No my dear idiot! Whose level is higher? Mine coz I am at the top.

Then why do u come down and show ur interest on me?

Becoz no one else loves u, in fact no one else can ever love u more than I do... ;-)

P.S: This is a conversation between me and my soul... I dnt knw why i pen down all my boring stuff here, but my depressed mind always wants to let out something of it and i dnt have any other place.

5 seconds...

“I love you rain” I screamed aloud and looked up at the sky, releasing my hands from the brake.

5 seconds later…..

I saw myself sleeping on the road and a few meters away, the bike was also sleeping with oil leaking out from it. Behind it was my friend Abhi, the poor guy who was seated behind me. He too laid on his tummy with his hands stretched like the lord Jesus. It looked as if he was taking blessings from the road divider (lol). Later we discovered that we were lucky enough to be spared with just minor injuries.

Maintaining my same posture on the road, I shouted loudly- “I love you rain” again.

Abhi greeted me with stones and said- “You and your idiotic rain.”

“Sorry dude, the bike slipped and I couldn’t control it.”

“Which fool has given you driving license??? Did u bribe???”

“Who said I have one? hehe” I replied with a childish smile.

Anyways, before any trucks run over us, we got up and started the bike and left. On his strict orders, I slipped to the back seat. It was me who had insisted this concept called ‘outing-when-it’s-raining’. Anyways, we continued. The ride was dumb for a while.

I was losing patience, so asked- “Where are we heading to? Coffee Day or Barista?”

“We would have been traveling to hell if a truck or something was behind us when we fell on road.” He corrected “sorry, when you made us fall.” He looked ungratified and said- “We are heading straight to home where you will order for pizzas.”

“ Alright! Anything if you are paying.”

“I’m not going to pay. Who the hell implemented this concept? It’s such a pain in my ass to ride on wet roads. You are going to pay.”

“Why does a round pizza come in a square box?” I asked him... :P

I never get answers for my innovative questions. Anyways, we continued our silence. I felt like I was dancing. I mean, the way he rides the bike is flagitious. If this fellow had a driving license then what else could be more insulting for our mother India?

Later sometime to my left I saw a temple and asked him – “Shall we meet the god?”

“F**k u. One more word from you and will be on your journey to meet god in person.”

I found that line very funny- Meet god in person..!! I was making him irritate by repeating the same word again and again like joker did in the movie Batman.

After 15 minutes, we almost reached home, and he was turning the bike into the street in John Abraham style.
And I shouted- “oye… oye...Look out you, ass....”

5 seconds later………….

I found myself sleeping on the road with the pavement as my pillow. A few meters away, the bike was sleeping with the remaining oil leaking out. And Abhi was again taking blessings from the road divider.

Lonely!!!

I don’t hear anyone,
No children shouting and playing,

It’s so lonely out here, but it’s so peaceful…
I’m broken and sick inside,
but I feel much more beautiful than ever.

It’s not bad to disappear sometimes.

May be I like being in the middle of nowhere.
May be I enjoy forgetting what everyone looks and sounds like.
May be I don’t mind…

May be I feel good about changing myself
and May be, just May be I pretend to be happy here.

I look different, but somehow somewhere I feel the same.
Everything is still changing & everyone is still breathing,
the loneliness remains inside me forever.

Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.

As I look into your eyes

I see the pain and hurt I have given you

You seek the pain because of the trust u have on me

I'm sorry for the times you have cried,

And the loneliness you felt inside

I am sorry that I walked into your life, gave you hope and not fulfilled your dreams.

Can you please give me a fresh start?

I wanna try and cure your wounded heart

I realize I said things which are hard to forget, its true

I love you forever till my last breathe

you will forever be in my life

because you are my sister for life

I promise I will not do the things which make you sad

I am SORRY, please have a look at me, I am waiting for you!

I'm all alone!!!

It’s been a long time when I visited this place last. No I was not busy, not at all busy; In fact I felt I was totally free and wasted few days back.

I write to you today, as a broken man. I am disgusted, my faith in humanity shattered. I feel violated and unclean. What I am about to say may shock some of you. It may anger many. My tale is not for the faint of heart.

Lately I’ve been getting very irritable, isolated, anger and feeling very lonely. I feel I’m at my wit's end and just can't seem to find any answers. I feel ashamed and embarrassed and keeping my feeling's to myself. I am starting to think people are getting tired of hearing the same old crap from me so now I am starting to withdraw which causes me to get even more angry and frustrated. I was asked one time when was the last time I was happy....I couldn’t answer that. I don't think I’ve ever been happy or so called normal and am beginning to believe I was meant to be this way. I’m pissed, angry, irritable, alone, tired and just want it all to go away. Searching for answers but don't know where to search!!!!

The darkness surrounds me as I feel trapped like the world is caving. I can’t even escape to my thoughts anymore even they have turned black. I’m slipping again just as I thought my roller coaster was getting to stop and it always starts again. All the little things that happen to me… all build up and my brain collapses due to the pressure and its slowly starts killing me.

It looks like there are only few persons I can count on are my best friend and my sister cum friend.... But I still feel alone... like no one will care if I was to die tomorrow... Every day I deal with a lot of people that act like they care me but they don’t! My so called friends... lol...feel like they turn their back on me..."brothers from another mother...” That’s what we use to say... People wonder why I show no mercy ...speak my mind and how I feel.... That’s coz pain is my weakness leaving the body...and my heart been burnt so many times I don’t know the difference....I guess you can say I am a cold hearted nagger....

God Spot???

Hey guys! I just want to share something with u…. I came across this article while surfing so wanted to share.

My views on this are totally mixed!!!

But thought it was an interesting topic indeed!!!

Just spend your few minutes reading this….

www.whatisnonduality.com/brainmind/is_there_a_god

So do u think religious experiences are induced by stimulating a spot on our brains???

Kasab- Naam tho suna hoga!!!

‘Mohammad Ajmal Amir Kasab’ the so called only survivor from the pack of Pakistani terrorists who attacked Mumbai on November 26th, 2008.

This celebrity presently is stationed in the Prestigious Arthur Jail. He is guarded with security more than our PM. He has become a Heartthrob of all the national Media.

I don’t understand why we are feeding this blood sucking leech!

Why don’t we just shoot him???

Do you people know the cost spent on him daily?? It’s Rs.2500 per day!!! Don’t get shocked with this… the total trial may even cross more than Rs. 1 crore depends on how long the trial lasts.

How insulting is it to see a coward smirking in the courtroom in front of the judge, police and other audience. Isn’t this disgusting to see something like this? Why is all this happening? Who is responsible for this embarrassment?

It is surprising to see that our Indian govt. is bringing up the question of kasab’s age. The crime he has committed is not of adolescence’s age, it cannot be unforgettable no matter of what his age is. He should be treated like a mass murderer and be punished. If we are lenient or show mercy on him then we will be opening the gates of floods of such cases. These terrorists create havoc in our country.

Do u know how old was Khudiram Bose when he was hanged by britishers?

He was hanged for fighting against the British for our freedom for planting and throwing bombs when he was only 16yrs. Why the age bar has come into affect now?

Why the hell is trail needed? Who do u trial? Is he an Indian to be trialed? Is this playing with justice or is this just a mockery? I believe the trial is needed only when someone needs to be proved guilty of crime. Does he really need to be proved guilty? I don’t think so as the whole nation has seen him on television watching him perpetrate. He was involved in a 60 agonizing hours long gun battle with police, ATS and commandos. He and his partner Abu Ismail hijacked a police vehicle killing a brave police officer ASI Ombale. Is this not apparent that he has committed more than a crime?

Ridiculous!

What is there to decide still?? Just hang him…

Knowing all these why kasab is enjoying this so called legal procedures? Is it the case that Indian govt. showing the world that how humble we are? If it so then it is shame to have this kind of humbleness. The system itself needs an amendment. This is the actual time the system needs to be incorporated with the laws that allows leach like kasab to be punished.

Please let’s not let him make a mockery of our judicial system and remain an under trial for years and years.

I wanted him to be hanged live on all the channels, when u wake up in the morning and you change the channels…. Each and every channel should show the same. We have seen more than 160 people dying in 26/11 attack, what the pain in seeing one fucker die.

If my life gives me a chance to see that rascal I will surely piss on his face.

God! I never believed in you…. If u believe in me please do give me a chance.