I'm all alone!!!

It’s been a long time when I visited this place last. No I was not busy, not at all busy; In fact I felt I was totally free and wasted few days back.

I write to you today, as a broken man. I am disgusted, my faith in humanity shattered. I feel violated and unclean. What I am about to say may shock some of you. It may anger many. My tale is not for the faint of heart.

Lately I’ve been getting very irritable, isolated, anger and feeling very lonely. I feel I’m at my wit's end and just can't seem to find any answers. I feel ashamed and embarrassed and keeping my feeling's to myself. I am starting to think people are getting tired of hearing the same old crap from me so now I am starting to withdraw which causes me to get even more angry and frustrated. I was asked one time when was the last time I was happy....I couldn’t answer that. I don't think I’ve ever been happy or so called normal and am beginning to believe I was meant to be this way. I’m pissed, angry, irritable, alone, tired and just want it all to go away. Searching for answers but don't know where to search!!!!

The darkness surrounds me as I feel trapped like the world is caving. I can’t even escape to my thoughts anymore even they have turned black. I’m slipping again just as I thought my roller coaster was getting to stop and it always starts again. All the little things that happen to me… all build up and my brain collapses due to the pressure and its slowly starts killing me.

It looks like there are only few persons I can count on are my best friend and my sister cum friend.... But I still feel alone... like no one will care if I was to die tomorrow... Every day I deal with a lot of people that act like they care me but they don’t! My so called friends... lol...feel like they turn their back on me..."brothers from another mother...” That’s what we use to say... People wonder why I show no mercy ...speak my mind and how I feel.... That’s coz pain is my weakness leaving the body...and my heart been burnt so many times I don’t know the difference....I guess you can say I am a cold hearted nagger....

God Spot???

Hey guys! I just want to share something with u…. I came across this article while surfing so wanted to share.

My views on this are totally mixed!!!

But thought it was an interesting topic indeed!!!

Just spend your few minutes reading this….

www.whatisnonduality.com/brainmind/is_there_a_god

So do u think religious experiences are induced by stimulating a spot on our brains???

Kasab- Naam tho suna hoga!!!

‘Mohammad Ajmal Amir Kasab’ the so called only survivor from the pack of Pakistani terrorists who attacked Mumbai on November 26th, 2008.

This celebrity presently is stationed in the Prestigious Arthur Jail. He is guarded with security more than our PM. He has become a Heartthrob of all the national Media.

I don’t understand why we are feeding this blood sucking leech!

Why don’t we just shoot him???

Do you people know the cost spent on him daily?? It’s Rs.2500 per day!!! Don’t get shocked with this… the total trial may even cross more than Rs. 1 crore depends on how long the trial lasts.

How insulting is it to see a coward smirking in the courtroom in front of the judge, police and other audience. Isn’t this disgusting to see something like this? Why is all this happening? Who is responsible for this embarrassment?

It is surprising to see that our Indian govt. is bringing up the question of kasab’s age. The crime he has committed is not of adolescence’s age, it cannot be unforgettable no matter of what his age is. He should be treated like a mass murderer and be punished. If we are lenient or show mercy on him then we will be opening the gates of floods of such cases. These terrorists create havoc in our country.

Do u know how old was Khudiram Bose when he was hanged by britishers?

He was hanged for fighting against the British for our freedom for planting and throwing bombs when he was only 16yrs. Why the age bar has come into affect now?

Why the hell is trail needed? Who do u trial? Is he an Indian to be trialed? Is this playing with justice or is this just a mockery? I believe the trial is needed only when someone needs to be proved guilty of crime. Does he really need to be proved guilty? I don’t think so as the whole nation has seen him on television watching him perpetrate. He was involved in a 60 agonizing hours long gun battle with police, ATS and commandos. He and his partner Abu Ismail hijacked a police vehicle killing a brave police officer ASI Ombale. Is this not apparent that he has committed more than a crime?

Ridiculous!

What is there to decide still?? Just hang him…

Knowing all these why kasab is enjoying this so called legal procedures? Is it the case that Indian govt. showing the world that how humble we are? If it so then it is shame to have this kind of humbleness. The system itself needs an amendment. This is the actual time the system needs to be incorporated with the laws that allows leach like kasab to be punished.

Please let’s not let him make a mockery of our judicial system and remain an under trial for years and years.

I wanted him to be hanged live on all the channels, when u wake up in the morning and you change the channels…. Each and every channel should show the same. We have seen more than 160 people dying in 26/11 attack, what the pain in seeing one fucker die.

If my life gives me a chance to see that rascal I will surely piss on his face.

God! I never believed in you…. If u believe in me please do give me a chance.

D-day...?

Reading my friends status in one of the SNS reminds me of something that i dont want to remember. It’s about 2012 prediction. Look… I still have my anxiety a bit. And remembering about the prediction really makes me happy.

How many of u believes in doomsday...? That is to say there will be an end to this world on a specified day?

I have heard and read a lot about the doomsday, that is, 21st December, 2012.

First of all Nostradamus prophecies do not produce a clear picture of what he wants to say, he keeps a suspect in mind and his so called future can be applied at a time to many things.
And about the dooms day...is still a question and every day many discussions are going on this topic about this the so called d-day. But no satisfactory solution has till now evolved.
We don’t have answer to every question....

Let’s see some of many reasons which say that the world will end on 21-December-2012.

First comes is the Mayan Calendar: This crazy calendar was invented in the year 3114BC. This calendar will end on 21-12-2012.

The I-Ching: The ancient astrology procedure.

The Planet-X: Scientists do not believe in the above two threats.
Scientists believe in the threat that might occur with Planet-X also called Nibiru.

Going deep in this the third threat: Planet-X was discovered in 1984, at an estimated distance of about 50 billion miles from Earth giving an intention to the scientists that there will be no harm to the Solar System by this planet. In the year 1992 Planet-X was seen 7 Billion miles from the earth which means that Planet-X has traveled 43 billion miles in 8 years, from then the distance of Planet-X from Earth is now where specified. However analysis says that Planet-X will hit the Solar System by 2012-December-21.

Yes, you read correctly, in some way, shape or form, the Earth (or at least a large portion of humans on the planet) will cease to exist. Stop planning your careers and be sure to spend the last years of your life doing something you always wanted to do but never had the time. Now you have the time, three years of time, to enjoy yourselves before… the end.

The Mayans, made a calendar, which is believed to be calculatively and predictively more accurate than even our own calendar calculations and predictions. After that, some people in past, before the arrival of Jesus Christ also predicted the same date, that is, 21st December, 2012, for the destruction of the mankind. In shastras also, the end of the Kal Yuga due to "Pralay" is mentioned. The last year of the Mayan Calendar is 2012.Moreover, "I-Ching", one of the finest methods to predict the future, also has its last date as 21st Dec, 2012. And now, the NASA scientists give the theory of the POLE SHIFT during the December month of 2012. They say that the pole shift has taken 3 times before on the earth also (indicating the past three yugas). They say during the pole shift, the Sea level will rise unexpectedly and unimaginably high and the whole of the land will be submerged into water, finishing the whole mankind.

The idea of doomsday is for centuries... the point is... How do those people know (Islam 1500 years ago and Christianity 2000 years ago) the things we know now...?

So who told them about these things? Ancestors? Who told Ancestors?

How extremely intelligible of the person who created this "theory".

Earth was formed millions of years back. How can anyone expect it to cease to exist in the next 3 years?? It has to be a gradual process.

If it is so very evident to happen, has anyone come up with infallible proof of how it will happens?

How can the sea water increase so much? Can anyone expect all of the ice in the Polar Regions to melt in 3 more years? Not quite possible.

If it is really going to happen, all the nations will start building alternate means of survival on the water , what’s the big deal in that right?

Am i Already Dead???

This is a very true and realistic feeling. In true sense death is actually near us and may come anytime so this feeling 'was' always with me and 'is' always with me. But this feeling does not frighten me. In fact it gives me a pleasure.

This life is temporary and we live with many limitations, fears and questions.

Life after death would be forever and curtain behind all the realities would be unveiled.

I even feel sometimes that this moment is my last one.. but nothing happens.. Its only our fear to live and do certain acts which can apart us. Other wise every wise man has this uncertainity abt his/her death..

Death is always close by. It’s almost like your shadow. You may be aware, you may not be aware, but it follows you from the first moment of your life to the very last moment. Death is a process just as life is a process, and they are almost together, like two wheels of a bullock cart. Life cannot exist without death; neither can death exist without life.

Our minds have an insane desire: we want only life and not death. We don't look at the existential truth, we always cling to our own insane desire. And this desire is in almost in every living creature, not only human beings. Even the trees are afraid of death, but trees can be forgiven. They are only unconscious -- fast asleep.

But you are a little bit awake: you can sense the presence of death. Hence the possibility opens for a deeper understanding, that life and death are all together, two extremes of one energy. Life is the active force and death is the inactive force. Life is the positive electricity and death is the negative electricity, but they cannot be separated.

So whenever you feel fear, it is a time to understand that life is ephemeral, it is made of the same stuff as dreams are made of. How real the dream looks when you are asleep. In fact, more real than your experiences when you are awake. You may have never thought about it, but while you are awake you can doubt: "Perhaps what I am seeing may be just a dream." I may be a dream, you may be a dream, and this whole world may be just a dream. Soon you will be awake and you will find, "Oh God! It was just a dream."

There is a possibility when you are awake to suspect, to doubt the reality that surrounds you. But when you are asleep, you cannot even doubt the existence of the dream. It is so real, it is more real than reality. Have you ever doubted any dream, thinking that perhaps what you are seeing is a dream? The moment you doubt, you are awake from the sleep, and the dream is immediately finished. The dream can remain there only if you are totally asleep, so deep that no doubt, no suspicion, can arise in you.

Death is a constant reminder that, "I can come any moment. Be prepared."

Be prepared?? Preparation? What is it? Preparation is live life so totally, so intensely, be so aflame with it that when death comes there is no complaint, there is no grudge. You are absolutely ready because you have lived life so totally, you have known all its mysteries -- there is no point in living anymore. Death has come exactly at the right time, when you may have thought to die yourself. I call that death perfect which comes at the moment when you yourself may have thought, "It is enough."

Astrology! Do u believe in it??

Readin My palm, Can anyone tell me:

Exact date of my death & how?
When will i get successful in my life?
The girl whom i am going to get married, from where she belongs?
I will have Daughter or Son Later? :P
Last blow:--Can i change my future? suppose if u say that i will die tomorrow by CAR accident (which no astrologers have guts or capability to say so), can i change my future?

Astrology is this that blah blah, fine. Then why ASTROLOGER's they themselves are not able to change their future! Parrot baba sitting on beach-road & bit high profiles sit on their office. why? why they cant be Tata-birla.

confused?--> if 10 years back u saw ur future through palm, then obviously you could have changed it. bcoz to change future all astros gives STONE, right?
then why didnt you apply on yourself Astros??

I hate it because our future is yet to be written, and we are the ones who are going to write it!!

The most foolish thing in world is letting others predict your future. If someone else can predict your future then there is no point in your survival. It should be you who should decide what to do what not to. If you are going to believe in some one else then let them live your life and you can better resign. These astrologers they make ppl think that they are the brokers of god sent just enhance your future, but what results is their enhancement atlast.

A person who is doing astrology, Is a professional, Humans are wicked born by Nature. So to earn money they took astrology or future telling policy?
so Human started a new business called Astrology.

Try this. its funny.. At the end of the day, sit with your friend (Who believes in horoscopes), ask his sun sign, and read aloud any horoscope other than of his own sunsign. Ask him whether he really had such experiences in the whole day, And to your surprise, he will really start co-relating the events to the horoscope you just read...
This is what we call it : Blind Faith.

Lemme share a story:-

One boy, intelligent but never do study. Once he was sitting alone & he met one Saint. He asked that Saint that "BABA, give me something by which i will pass my exams". Now BABA gave him one TABEEZ & he wrote something in a paper and put it inside of that TABEEZ.
Now after getting that TABEEZ, the boy became King of a King & neglect studying. Bcoz he knew that even if he doesn't study, he will Pass. So exam came, he wrote & then result came he FAILED.
He went to that SAINT & asked him that "what the crap, Your Tabeez didnt work & i failed".

then the priest replied:- Son, Look inside of that Tabeez, something is written. So the boy opened that paper & saw that "If you study then only you will pass or else never".

conclusion:-
EVERYTHING IS UPTO HUMAN. If you work hard for or on anything, you will achieve.

Its a good bussiness if you have a tact to judge the person's emotional background... You can earn upto 1000 rs if you happen to sit at places like malls n some major tourist places and see 10 customers in three hrs. Good yaar.. :) LOL.

Why do dreams scare me???

Although science has found out a lot about how our brains work during dreaming, we still know very little about why. Some thought that dreams were a way of fulfilling our wishes, while others thought dreams made up for parts of the psyche undeveloped by daytime activities.

I've been having a lot of nightmares lately. It's not very fun. I'm scared to go to sleep. Even when a nightmare wakes me up and I go back to sleep, I start having a different nightmare. I wonder if that means something bad or strange is going to happen? Or maybe my subconciousness is just throwing writing ideas at me?

My worst nightmares are always from movies.

When I was eight or nine, I saw the film The Mummy and that ended up being my dream. Anytime I see a scary movie, I end up having a dream where the killer is coming after me.

And these dreams are so mixed up at times! Like the pieces of a jigsaw puzzles randomly put together so that they fit in. Its almost same like the puzzles in movie SAW.

Last night I had a very weird dream that my friend was murdered and chopped up into little bits.Her body then slowly reformed, each piece sliding back together to make whole again and she murdered the person that had killed her. The odd thing was, after she was chopped up into tiny bits, I was just an observer watching like a movie. She was calling me for help but i couldnt reach her.

I mean this was my friend who I am not so much in touch with these days.And the last we met was in march.And there was nothing related to her that had occurred during the day! It was so weird!

Yesterday, in the evening, I just got up all of a sudden, scared and worried (not even remembering what the dream was about) and ran towards the kitchen to check if my mom was there!! And I didn't even know what that was all about!! I was just relieved to see her.

Deciphering such dreams becomes so difficult at times because you don't know which of these dreams really mean something and which are mere riddles that your subconscious mind has created for you!

I guess I need some serious soul searching business to take care of to decode these nightmares!!