Unspoken Words!!!

Love u kariZma!

2010-10-25T20:56:00.000+05:30

My Beauty!!!

Got my new Bike Hero Honda KariZma :) :)

And And And.....it feels awesome riding it :)

After a lot of confusions on which bike I would be going for, My bike is finally here. Its Karizma R. I found it the best offering for a sports bike in India. The bike is a 225 CC with the closest to the fancy Sports bikes looks.

Pulsar 220CC was a choice candidate too, the blue color is definitely an eye catcher and a big plus for P220 and that's what caused some confusion, but Karizma still beats it in looks.

Forever Gone But Forever in Our Hearts...

2010-09-21T16:55:00.010+05:30

It was a cold and breezy September day,
When my friend sadly passed away.
This was the day when a boy with a knife,
took away my friends life.

I shut my eyes,
praying that it was just a dream,
But unfortunately it turned out to be a reality,
the most ghastly thing I had ever seen.

The knife in killers hand went into her like a dart and slit her neck apart.

Great big tears rolled down everyone’s face,
Murderer left without a trace.

I find it very hard to believe
That you have gone and I must grieve
I call out your name and you reply not,
Everything seems so strange and hypnagogic,
I ask everyone is it a dream or authentic?

He killed my friend and I will never forgive him,

I cannot explain to the world out there

The void in my heart and so in my life

and the fallen tears from my face are still undried.

PS: This is dedicated to my friend Divya who was brutally murdered by a lameass Shekhar.

May her soul Rest In Peace… We miss u a lot Divya… :(
We should try our best to get her Justice.

Law of 3motion!!!

2010-07-18T22:12:00.003+05:30

Life was back to normal after a thunderstorm of emotions. It’s almost a year now from the day the disaster has happened, but still the wounds are so pleasure to remember but at the same time the mind rings an alarm that it’s so stupid to think about the wounds and asserts to continue forward marching towards new destiny. It was like a holocaust that shook badly remembering those tremors. Even though it was a disaster, it caused immense loss and yeah it will never stop to amuse thoughts. As Newton said in his law of motion that for each and every action there is equal and opposite reaction but as per my law of Emotion, for every priceless minute lived with a loved one suddenly if the table turns there is much worse minutes of sorrow and misery to be lived thinking of those wonderful moments.

Years before a new relationship blossomed and the gods showered all the flowers in the world to make it colorful. The two hearts got along with ecstasy and excitement, they lived a dream but the days were numbered. All the evil forces in the world joined their hands together to crush the dream. One by one like the fragile petals of the relationship were plucked and thrown away. Some animals even chewed down the dreams. Slowly a catastrophe struck, it was stirred in and the hearts realized the carnivores will ruin the lives of each other, painstakingly they realized the company of each other will envy the beasts and make each other’s life a prey for those ugliest hungry beasts. One of the hearts took courage and said to another that we need to separate or else both will be perished soon. The other heart did not listen. It was still down with the hangover of the wonderful dream and it was confident of overtaking those evil forces.

But the other heart was dauntless; it took a decision to save the other heart. The most painful daybreak occurred; the dauntless heart gathered all its guts and told to the other a lie..."I hate you". Dreams shattered, they were broken into pieces, passersby stamped on them......

The two hearts started bleeding, they knew that the blood is not gonna stop early. Tragedy struck the memories started to disappear slowly. The heart which heard the slayer words "I hate you" was left numb and speechless for days. It also knew that even though the other heart pretended to hate it, how much it loved it.... days and months passed by...the memories never completely faded, but the impact of the memories took a back foot. One of the bleeding hearts got busy with life, diverted all attention towards work and tried hard to leave behind the memories and move forward.

PS: Purely Fictional... dunno where to end the story so leaving here itself. Weneva i get tym surely try to complete it :)

Dead or if Buried alive?

2010-07-15T22:57:00.001+05:30

Looking at my last post on this blog it makes me wonder or feel that did I lose all my creativity and imagination or is it lost with the whacking I received few months back? I always wanted to write something with the ideas coming up now and then but never actually got time to sit and write anything or put it on to paper(I am not so lazy too :P). May be its because my life has become so flurrying with so many things to do. I have to worry about my exams, prepare for the project, study for GRE and I also have to lie around doing nothing, just watching movies and stuff. Wherz the time for all this for me?

Or is it possible that it is not the lack of time that has affected my blogging activity but just that I am empty of any imagination to think of anything worth writing? With so much going on, its gives us little time to think and ponder over it. Only the quality of my next blog will tell whether my imagination is dead or if itz buried alive.

Hope i keep blogging frequently... :)

Broken...

2010-03-12T15:13:00.005+05:30

My life is a real bitch. Harder it plays with me greater the satisfaction it attains.

On a chilly wintry night, I was standing on our building terrace and trying to observe the vacuum that has created a void in my life. Grotesque of problems appears to be dangling around my head.

I shut my eyes n tried to hide myself. Burning orange blue flame hurt my eyes. Chilled air seems to be searing my mind. I opened my eyes and raised my fingers to wipe the water droplets, slowly dripping on my burning cheeks, like water droplets on a hot plate.

I sat at the corner of the building where none can find me and started thinking of my life again which was useless. My throat is choked… Full of noises deep inside my windpipe, as if some1 is silting my throat. As if blood was flowing out of invisible wound. Then I called up my friend who has no time for me and then as I couldn’t bear the pain so I started to slit my wrist. It wasn’t hard for me as I have become an expertise in it.

My heart pounds harder, as if I wanna cry with a bursting laughter.

My arms open up, ready to dive in this melancholic sky.

I wish I cud have died.

Nowhere to run

No where to hide

I grab the blade as I sit alone

I drag the blade across my skin

It starts to bleed

Bleeding like a waterfall

I don’t cut because I want to die

I cut to release the hurt inside

I self harm to help me be that little bit better

I sit alone to do these things cause it’s safer

~Dead Dreamer!

No one else can ever love u more than I do...

2009-11-12T14:28:00.018+05:30

You fool… Injured again? Happy?

Wow! What a way to ask… Just leave it. I don’t want you to be here.

What’s new in that?

Still… better u leave me alone.

What still? Don’t make excuses.

Hmm…

Hello? Say something… I know u can talk.

The way ur talking is making me more irritating and ur asking me to respond? How can you even think of it? Don’t you know anything?

Yes! I know…

Then why the hell are you asking me again? Go leave me alone.

You’re already alone. How much loneliness you want?

Hmmm…..

If I also leave you alone then who will take care of you my dear sweet heart?

You call this caring? Great! Thanks a lot… I don’t need your advices or your shoulders to cry upon.

Who’s giving away? Me? No. I am just asking you something.

What something? There’s nothing hidden from you. Don’t you know that? I have lost faith and interest. I don’t want anything, anyone… All I want is a place where I can stay up alone leaving all this shit and go for a long deep sleep so that no one or no matter can make me awake. And now I know you wanted to call me a loser, useless or any of your crap again. Well call me anything… it doesn’t matter me anything. I have become quite numb.

Numb? If you have become numb then you would have never felt yourself this way.

Hmm…

Is this the first time that you feel like dying?

NO!

Then what’s new in this? You felt like this similarly before and you came out of it later, don’t you?

Never like this. But somehow similar, it’s all because I am attached to few things that don’t allow me to leave anything and follow what I want. But it took a lot of time for me to realize.

Look around! You’re no special. There are so many crying souls like you.

I know. Stop your lecture.

Let me complete… what I am saying is that there are so many souls in this world and how are you different?

So?

So… if you behave the same way like them then what’s the difference between you and those morons? You feel that your pain is something that no one can understand. But who actually wants to know? None!

Don’t ever compare me with anyone…. Yea there is no one in this world who could understand me, that’s why I don’t want to live in this world. I have all rights to do what I want… better you don’t interfere.

You have that right, Fine! But you don’t have any right to ardor which is not yours.

Ohkk…. Next?

What next? Do what ur good at.

I’m good at nothing.

Don’t be a pessimist! Desire for something good…

Desire? Lol… you just now said not to ardor for something which is not yours then what’s the need of thinking about the things which I already have? You know something? You yourself are more confused than me.

Guess your right! But one thing I know for sure is that if anything you dream that ll be yours someday or the other.

Rofl… lol.. hahaha…. =))

Will u shut up?

I wont… if u can say whatever you wanted? Why cant i?

Because I am your senior.

Senior? In what way? We entered this life together.

No my dear idiot! Whose level is higher? Mine coz I am at the top.

Then why do u come down and show ur interest on me?

Becoz no one else loves u, in fact no one else can ever love u more than I do... ;-)

P.S: This is a conversation between me and my soul... I dnt knw why i pen down all my boring stuff here, but my depressed mind always wants to let out something of it and i dnt have any other place.

5 seconds...

2009-10-01T19:05:00.003+05:30

“I love you rain” I screamed aloud and looked up at the sky, releasing my hands from the brake.

5 seconds later…..

I saw myself sleeping on the road and a few meters away, the bike was also sleeping with oil leaking out from it. Behind it was my friend Abhi, the poor guy who was seated behind me. He too laid on his tummy with his hands stretched like the lord Jesus. It looked as if he was taking blessings from the road divider (lol). Later we discovered that we were lucky enough to be spared with just minor injuries.

Maintaining my same posture on the road, I shouted loudly- “I love you rain” again.

Abhi greeted me with stones and said- “You and your idiotic rain.”

“Sorry dude, the bike slipped and I couldn’t control it.”

“Which fool has given you driving license??? Did u bribe???”

“Who said I have one? hehe” I replied with a childish smile.

Anyways, before any trucks run over us, we got up and started the bike and left. On his strict orders, I slipped to the back seat. It was me who had insisted this concept called ‘outing-when-it’s-raining’. Anyways, we continued. The ride was dumb for a while.

I was losing patience, so asked- “Where are we heading to? Coffee Day or Barista?”

“We would have been traveling to hell if a truck or something was behind us when we fell on road.” He corrected “sorry, when you made us fall.” He looked ungratified and said- “We are heading straight to home where you will order for pizzas.”

“ Alright! Anything if you are paying.”

“I’m not going to pay. Who the hell implemented this concept? It’s such a pain in my ass to ride on wet roads. You are going to pay.”

“Why does a round pizza come in a square box?” I asked him... :P

I never get answers for my innovative questions. Anyways, we continued our silence. I felt like I was dancing. I mean, the way he rides the bike is flagitious. If this fellow had a driving license then what else could be more insulting for our mother India?

Later sometime to my left I saw a temple and asked him – “Shall we meet the god?”

“F**k u. One more word from you and will be on your journey to meet god in person.”

I found that line very funny- Meet god in person..!! I was making him irritate by repeating the same word again and again like joker did in the movie Batman.

After 15 minutes, we almost reached home, and he was turning the bike into the street in John Abraham style.
And I shouted- “oye… oye...Look out you, ass....”

5 seconds later………….

I found myself sleeping on the road with the pavement as my pillow. A few meters away, the bike was sleeping with the remaining oil leaking out. And Abhi was again taking blessings from the road divider.

Lonely!!!

2009-09-27T22:11:00.001+05:30

I don’t hear anyone,
No children shouting and playing,

It’s so lonely out here, but it’s so peaceful…
I’m broken and sick inside,
but I feel much more beautiful than ever.

It’s not bad to disappear sometimes.

May be I like being in the middle of nowhere.
May be I enjoy forgetting what everyone looks and sounds like.
May be I don’t mind…

May be I feel good about changing myself
and May be, just May be I pretend to be happy here.

I look different, but somehow somewhere I feel the same.
Everything is still changing & everyone is still breathing,
the loneliness remains inside me forever.

Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.

2009-09-04T17:42:00.001+05:30

As I look into your eyes

I see the pain and hurt I have given you

You seek the pain because of the trust u have on me

I'm sorry for the times you have cried,

And the loneliness you felt inside

I am sorry that I walked into your life, gave you hope and not fulfilled your dreams.

Can you please give me a fresh start?

I wanna try and cure your wounded heart

I realize I said things which are hard to forget, its true

I love you forever till my last breathe

you will forever be in my life

because you are my sister for life

I promise I will not do the things which make you sad

I am SORRY, please have a look at me, I am waiting for you!

I'm all alone!!!

2009-08-06T19:27:00.012+05:30

It’s been a long time when I visited this place last. No I was not busy, not at all busy; In fact I felt I was totally free and wasted few days back.

I write to you today, as a broken man. I am disgusted, my faith in humanity shattered. I feel violated and unclean. What I am about to say may shock some of you. It may anger many. My tale is not for the faint of heart.

Lately I’ve been getting very irritable, isolated, anger and feeling very lonely. I feel I’m at my wit's end and just can't seem to find any answers. I feel ashamed and embarrassed and keeping my feeling's to myself. I am starting to think people are getting tired of hearing the same old crap from me so now I am starting to withdraw which causes me to get even more angry and frustrated. I was asked one time when was the last time I was happy....I couldn’t answer that. I don't think I’ve ever been happy or so called normal and am beginning to believe I was meant to be this way. I’m pissed, angry, irritable, alone, tired and just want it all to go away. Searching for answers but don't know where to search!!!!

The darkness surrounds me as I feel trapped like the world is caving. I can’t even escape to my thoughts anymore even they have turned black. I’m slipping again just as I thought my roller coaster was getting to stop and it always starts again. All the little things that happen to me… all build up and my brain collapses due to the pressure and its slowly starts killing me.

It looks like there are only few persons I can count on are my best friend and my sister cum friend.... But I still feel alone... like no one will care if I was to die tomorrow... Every day I deal with a lot of people that act like they care me but they don’t! My so called friends... lol...feel like they turn their back on me..."brothers from another mother...” That’s what we use to say... People wonder why I show no mercy ...speak my mind and how I feel.... That’s coz pain is my weakness leaving the body...and my heart been burnt so many times I don’t know the difference....I guess you can say I am a cold hearted nagger....

God Spot???

2009-07-28T21:52:00.015+05:30

Hey guys! I just want to share something with u…. I came across this article while surfing so wanted to share.

My views on this are totally mixed!!!

But thought it was an interesting topic indeed!!!

Just spend your few minutes reading this….

www.whatisnonduality.com/brainmind/is_there_a_god

So do u think religious experiences are induced by stimulating a spot on our brains???

Kasab- Naam tho suna hoga!!!

2009-07-26T10:45:00.009+05:30

‘Mohammad Ajmal Amir Kasab’ the so called only survivor from the pack of Pakistani terrorists who attacked Mumbai on November 26th, 2008.

This celebrity presently is stationed in the Prestigious Arthur Jail. He is guarded with security more than our PM. He has become a Heartthrob of all the national Media.

I don’t understand why we are feeding this blood sucking leech!

Why don’t we just shoot him???

Do you people know the cost spent on him daily?? It’s Rs.2500 per day!!! Don’t get shocked with this… the total trial may even cross more than Rs. 1 crore depends on how long the trial lasts.

How insulting is it to see a coward smirking in the courtroom in front of the judge, police and other audience. Isn’t this disgusting to see something like this? Why is all this happening? Who is responsible for this embarrassment?

It is surprising to see that our Indian govt. is bringing up the question of kasab’s age. The crime he has committed is not of adolescence’s age, it cannot be unforgettable no matter of what his age is. He should be treated like a mass murderer and be punished. If we are lenient or show mercy on him then we will be opening the gates of floods of such cases. These terrorists create havoc in our country.

Do u know how old was Khudiram Bose when he was hanged by britishers?

He was hanged for fighting against the British for our freedom for planting and throwing bombs when he was only 16yrs. Why the age bar has come into affect now?

Why the hell is trail needed? Who do u trial? Is he an Indian to be trialed? Is this playing with justice or is this just a mockery? I believe the trial is needed only when someone needs to be proved guilty of crime. Does he really need to be proved guilty? I don’t think so as the whole nation has seen him on television watching him perpetrate. He was involved in a 60 agonizing hours long gun battle with police, ATS and commandos. He and his partner Abu Ismail hijacked a police vehicle killing a brave police officer ASI Ombale. Is this not apparent that he has committed more than a crime?

Ridiculous!

What is there to decide still?? Just hang him…

Knowing all these why kasab is enjoying this so called legal procedures? Is it the case that Indian govt. showing the world that how humble we are? If it so then it is shame to have this kind of humbleness. The system itself needs an amendment. This is the actual time the system needs to be incorporated with the laws that allows leach like kasab to be punished.

Please let’s not let him make a mockery of our judicial system and remain an under trial for years and years.

I wanted him to be hanged live on all the channels, when u wake up in the morning and you change the channels…. Each and every channel should show the same. We have seen more than 160 people dying in 26/11 attack, what the pain in seeing one fucker die.

If my life gives me a chance to see that rascal I will surely piss on his face.

God! I never believed in you…. If u believe in me please do give me a chance.

D-day...?

2009-07-18T19:26:00.006+05:30

Reading my friends status in one of the SNS reminds me of something that i dont want to remember. It’s about 2012 prediction. Look… I still have my anxiety a bit. And remembering about the prediction really makes me happy.

How many of u believes in doomsday...? That is to say there will be an end to this world on a specified day?

I have heard and read a lot about the doomsday, that is, 21st December, 2012.

First of all Nostradamus prophecies do not produce a clear picture of what he wants to say, he keeps a suspect in mind and his so called future can be applied at a time to many things.
And about the dooms day...is still a question and every day many discussions are going on this topic about this the so called d-day. But no satisfactory solution has till now evolved.
We don’t have answer to every question....

Let’s see some of many reasons which say that the world will end on 21-December-2012.

First comes is the Mayan Calendar: This crazy calendar was invented in the year 3114BC. This calendar will end on 21-12-2012.

The I-Ching: The ancient astrology procedure.

The Planet-X: Scientists do not believe in the above two threats.
Scientists believe in the threat that might occur with Planet-X also called Nibiru.

Going deep in this the third threat: Planet-X was discovered in 1984, at an estimated distance of about 50 billion miles from Earth giving an intention to the scientists that there will be no harm to the Solar System by this planet. In the year 1992 Planet-X was seen 7 Billion miles from the earth which means that Planet-X has traveled 43 billion miles in 8 years, from then the distance of Planet-X from Earth is now where specified. However analysis says that Planet-X will hit the Solar System by 2012-December-21.

Yes, you read correctly, in some way, shape or form, the Earth (or at least a large portion of humans on the planet) will cease to exist. Stop planning your careers and be sure to spend the last years of your life doing something you always wanted to do but never had the time. Now you have the time, three years of time, to enjoy yourselves before… the end.

The Mayans, made a calendar, which is believed to be calculatively and predictively more accurate than even our own calendar calculations and predictions. After that, some people in past, before the arrival of Jesus Christ also predicted the same date, that is, 21st December, 2012, for the destruction of the mankind. In shastras also, the end of the Kal Yuga due to "Pralay" is mentioned. The last year of the Mayan Calendar is 2012.Moreover, "I-Ching", one of the finest methods to predict the future, also has its last date as 21st Dec, 2012. And now, the NASA scientists give the theory of the POLE SHIFT during the December month of 2012. They say that the pole shift has taken 3 times before on the earth also (indicating the past three yugas). They say during the pole shift, the Sea level will rise unexpectedly and unimaginably high and the whole of the land will be submerged into water, finishing the whole mankind.

The idea of doomsday is for centuries... the point is... How do those people know (Islam 1500 years ago and Christianity 2000 years ago) the things we know now...?

So who told them about these things? Ancestors? Who told Ancestors?

How extremely intelligible of the person who created this "theory".

Earth was formed millions of years back. How can anyone expect it to cease to exist in the next 3 years?? It has to be a gradual process.

If it is so very evident to happen, has anyone come up with infallible proof of how it will happens?

How can the sea water increase so much? Can anyone expect all of the ice in the Polar Regions to melt in 3 more years? Not quite possible.

If it is really going to happen, all the nations will start building alternate means of survival on the water , what’s the big deal in that right?

Am i Already Dead???

2009-07-01T19:08:00.000+05:30

This is a very true and realistic feeling. In true sense death is actually near us and may come anytime so this feeling 'was' always with me and 'is' always with me. But this feeling does not frighten me. In fact it gives me a pleasure.

This life is temporary and we live with many limitations, fears and questions.

Life after death would be forever and curtain behind all the realities would be unveiled.

I even feel sometimes that this moment is my last one.. but nothing happens.. Its only our fear to live and do certain acts which can apart us. Other wise every wise man has this uncertainity abt his/her death..

Death is always close by. It’s almost like your shadow. You may be aware, you may not be aware, but it follows you from the first moment of your life to the very last moment. Death is a process just as life is a process, and they are almost together, like two wheels of a bullock cart. Life cannot exist without death; neither can death exist without life.

Our minds have an insane desire: we want only life and not death. We don't look at the existential truth, we always cling to our own insane desire. And this desire is in almost in every living creature, not only human beings. Even the trees are afraid of death, but trees can be forgiven. They are only unconscious -- fast asleep.

But you are a little bit awake: you can sense the presence of death. Hence the possibility opens for a deeper understanding, that life and death are all together, two extremes of one energy. Life is the active force and death is the inactive force. Life is the positive electricity and death is the negative electricity, but they cannot be separated.

So whenever you feel fear, it is a time to understand that life is ephemeral, it is made of the same stuff as dreams are made of. How real the dream looks when you are asleep. In fact, more real than your experiences when you are awake. You may have never thought about it, but while you are awake you can doubt: "Perhaps what I am seeing may be just a dream." I may be a dream, you may be a dream, and this whole world may be just a dream. Soon you will be awake and you will find, "Oh God! It was just a dream."

There is a possibility when you are awake to suspect, to doubt the reality that surrounds you. But when you are asleep, you cannot even doubt the existence of the dream. It is so real, it is more real than reality. Have you ever doubted any dream, thinking that perhaps what you are seeing is a dream? The moment you doubt, you are awake from the sleep, and the dream is immediately finished. The dream can remain there only if you are totally asleep, so deep that no doubt, no suspicion, can arise in you.

Death is a constant reminder that, "I can come any moment. Be prepared."

Be prepared?? Preparation? What is it? Preparation is live life so totally, so intensely, be so aflame with it that when death comes there is no complaint, there is no grudge. You are absolutely ready because you have lived life so totally, you have known all its mysteries -- there is no point in living anymore. Death has come exactly at the right time, when you may have thought to die yourself. I call that death perfect which comes at the moment when you yourself may have thought, "It is enough."

Astrology! Do u believe in it??

2009-06-30T17:58:00.000+05:30

Readin My palm, Can anyone tell me:

Exact date of my death & how?
When will i get successful in my life?
The girl whom i am going to get married, from where she belongs?
I will have Daughter or Son Later? :P
Last blow:--Can i change my future? suppose if u say that i will die tomorrow by CAR accident (which no astrologers have guts or capability to say so), can i change my future?

Astrology is this that blah blah, fine. Then why ASTROLOGER's they themselves are not able to change their future! Parrot baba sitting on beach-road & bit high profiles sit on their office. why? why they cant be Tata-birla.

confused?--> if 10 years back u saw ur future through palm, then obviously you could have changed it. bcoz to change future all astros gives STONE, right?
then why didnt you apply on yourself Astros??

I hate it because our future is yet to be written, and we are the ones who are going to write it!!

The most foolish thing in world is letting others predict your future. If someone else can predict your future then there is no point in your survival. It should be you who should decide what to do what not to. If you are going to believe in some one else then let them live your life and you can better resign. These astrologers they make ppl think that they are the brokers of god sent just enhance your future, but what results is their enhancement atlast.

A person who is doing astrology, Is a professional, Humans are wicked born by Nature. So to earn money they took astrology or future telling policy?
so Human started a new business called Astrology.

Try this. its funny.. At the end of the day, sit with your friend (Who believes in horoscopes), ask his sun sign, and read aloud any horoscope other than of his own sunsign. Ask him whether he really had such experiences in the whole day, And to your surprise, he will really start co-relating the events to the horoscope you just read...
This is what we call it : Blind Faith.

Lemme share a story:-

One boy, intelligent but never do study. Once he was sitting alone & he met one Saint. He asked that Saint that "BABA, give me something by which i will pass my exams". Now BABA gave him one TABEEZ & he wrote something in a paper and put it inside of that TABEEZ.
Now after getting that TABEEZ, the boy became King of a King & neglect studying. Bcoz he knew that even if he doesn't study, he will Pass. So exam came, he wrote & then result came he FAILED.
He went to that SAINT & asked him that "what the crap, Your Tabeez didnt work & i failed".

then the priest replied:- Son, Look inside of that Tabeez, something is written. So the boy opened that paper & saw that "If you study then only you will pass or else never".

conclusion:-
EVERYTHING IS UPTO HUMAN. If you work hard for or on anything, you will achieve.

Its a good bussiness if you have a tact to judge the person's emotional background... You can earn upto 1000 rs if you happen to sit at places like malls n some major tourist places and see 10 customers in three hrs. Good yaar.. :) LOL.

Why do dreams scare me???

2009-06-03T23:38:00.000+05:30

Although science has found out a lot about how our brains work during dreaming, we still know very little about why. Some thought that dreams were a way of fulfilling our wishes, while others thought dreams made up for parts of the psyche undeveloped by daytime activities.

I've been having a lot of nightmares lately. It's not very fun. I'm scared to go to sleep. Even when a nightmare wakes me up and I go back to sleep, I start having a different nightmare. I wonder if that means something bad or strange is going to happen? Or maybe my subconciousness is just throwing writing ideas at me?

My worst nightmares are always from movies.

When I was eight or nine, I saw the film The Mummy and that ended up being my dream. Anytime I see a scary movie, I end up having a dream where the killer is coming after me.

And these dreams are so mixed up at times! Like the pieces of a jigsaw puzzles randomly put together so that they fit in. Its almost same like the puzzles in movie SAW.

Last night I had a very weird dream that my friend was murdered and chopped up into little bits.Her body then slowly reformed, each piece sliding back together to make whole again and she murdered the person that had killed her. The odd thing was, after she was chopped up into tiny bits, I was just an observer watching like a movie. She was calling me for help but i couldnt reach her.

I mean this was my friend who I am not so much in touch with these days.And the last we met was in march.And there was nothing related to her that had occurred during the day! It was so weird!

Yesterday, in the evening, I just got up all of a sudden, scared and worried (not even remembering what the dream was about) and ran towards the kitchen to check if my mom was there!! And I didn't even know what that was all about!! I was just relieved to see her.

Deciphering such dreams becomes so difficult at times because you don't know which of these dreams really mean something and which are mere riddles that your subconscious mind has created for you!

I guess I need some serious soul searching business to take care of to decode these nightmares!!

Shout out!!!

2009-06-02T18:42:00.000+05:30

Yesterday, I was thinking about a topic for my blog. I'd even asked KSK, and he kept throwing random topics at me like: childhood, love, parents, pets, etc.

Errrr.....Childhood? NO WAY! i dont want to remember all my history and feel sad now. past z past....

Love? ummm.....NO, THANK YOU! i have written enuf & got so many questions on it which i cudnt answer.... I have to cool my anger off. Grrrr....

Parents? well...no need to elaborate on this.

Pets? YUCK! I've never had pets, I don't have one, and I will never have one in the future, EVER.

Summer? aaahhhh..... cant beat the heat so no mood in thinking of it.

Winter? bbbrrrrrrrr...cold! By the way, did you know that Winter season will start on December 21st?

Festivals? what about it...? I'm not gonna waste time writing blogs about it. I mean don't people already know the history and the traditions? I don't think readers would waste time reading the same knowledge they already posses in their brains.

So these were some of the ideas that KSK kept throwing at me, but they were too general. I can't elaborate on them unless I have profound knowledge about them, and I really don't ! :(

I thot of writing topics like ksk did in his blog.... aaahhh but i cudnt as im in no mood to write such a looonnggggg posts.

So, since this topic is about randomness, here are some of the activities that took place in my life after the 7th (last day of my exam)

We celebrated Abhinav's Birthday. The cake was yummy! :) We had a nice bike ride all over the nite.... almost covered half part of hyderabad i hope.

Yea n also i met ma skul frnds.... but dat was not so interesting as some of ma frnds were busy in their schedule so i cudnt catch 'em. We watched 99 movie... uff dat was d most boring movie i have ever watched i think. I cudnt even judge wat the movie was all abt....

Next topic?...I DON'T KNOW! :(

Suggestions are welcomed with love and open arms! :)

PS:I wrote this blog informally, so try to skip the mistakes and overlook the informality of the blog! :)

Thanx to ksk for helping me out, i think i haven't this enough! lol....

I haven't edited this post (again) as my mom is yelling at me to get off the pc and...umm...do whatever is done in the morning!...lol...

Idiot??

2009-05-27T20:28:00.001+05:30

Nwadays one of my friends has started callin me an 'idiot' evry now n then..This has made me think, am i an 'idiot' or is she tryin to convey anythin else... Whateva.. during my vacation i watched a movie named idiocracy,it was abt our world, but with full of idiots.. wat an imagination.. Hav u guys ever

imagined this,the world with full of idiots n stupidity as a major subject in schools..Then in dat world, i am sure Deeks wud definitely be the star- king of idiots(Even nw ,he is.. lol)....

Is this what u call life ... guys come on i am nt gonna write somethin very philosphical abt life ..

i am nt dat kindaa person who says lots of philosphy abt life n just do d opp when d time comes... Recently i read a blog, which happens to b written by one

of my friends.There was philosophy in each line or was it the same idiocracy with lotaaa idiocies.... Nw , all of u tell me, wats d relation btw philosophers n idiots.. All philosophers r nt idiots, bt all idiots r philosophers..

Come on bittu, u r speakin philosophy nw stop it.. lol

There are actually 2 laws of philosophy...

The First Law of Philosophy: For every philosopher, there exists an equal and opposite philosopher.

The Second Law of Philosophy: They're both wrong.

Have u guys noticed something, these so called philosophers hav somethin in common.

They always relate life to somethin or d other.Why the f do they want to relate life to a river or an egg..? So one day i researched:O, y do these people bcom philosophers.The only ans i gt was that they are jobless( come on u, stop lookin n smiling at me.. im still a student.... he he :D)

Nwadays SRK, Aamir khan, Amithan Bachan are all writin blogs.. R they writin philosophies or idiocies.. Either case they r makin me feel insecure..

So after readin this , u guys must be havin that 'u r an idiot' expression in ur faces. Keep it cool, its jus tht most of us r idiotic philosophers.... hehe.

Boredom..

2009-05-25T15:16:00.000+05:30

Last 2 weeks were absolute monotonous...Same old good things happening n same old craps hittin my head back... I am not frustrated...i am not irritated..but surely i am bored..

The thots of 'hw can i kill boredom', made me even more bored.. :(

Why are things still the same.. y isnt the world around me changing..Y does the neighbour's dog still bark at me, y does the pretty gal next door still gives me the 'who r u' look... :P Its all the same..its all boring.

To beat boredom, i thot of watchin cartoon, but tom was chasin jerry even now n jerry made tom a fool again. Still the same old thing, y don they give tom a chance... lol. Then i switched to cricket, it was all the same, fours sixes and out. I donno kno, y dont they change the rules for a change... then i looked at the sky, it was still blue( it wasnt about to rain,lol)...

I thot of checkin the mail, the first mail i saw was a forward(which infact was sent by me around a month back)... Hey you.. I am nt crazy... i am jus bored...!

Perhaps the world's second crime is boredom. The first is being a bore... So i think i have become a criminal nw ... :O

Then i thot of writin the blog... Hey, guess what i am not bored nw ..But i have made u guys bored..So thats a change ... :D

So now on, if u wanna kill boredom, make ur friends bored... Try it.. it works... i have jus tried it with this blog ... lol =))

How college Life changed me...

2009-05-19T21:13:00.000+05:30

As a kid, I was always anxious about colleges. That awesome college life shown in Indian cinema, (bollywood movies to make it precise)… those early SRK ones; where you do everything in college except studying!!! I thought college would be fun (no doubt it is!!). I thought college would be just bunking lectures, watching movies, impressing girls, spending the day at canteen, ragging juniors, having crush on pals (str opposite sex), fights & friendships, break-ups & patch-ups or jst missing friends when not wit them…

But, (yeah but!!!) fate has its own way, all my dreams were shattered and my perception for so called “college” changed forever as I got my admission in VITS (yeah, vignan) I got admission Computer Science Engg ( I didn’t got admission in any other “good college”. I did try. But in vain.

This college (vignan) is situated on hills. I reside in Masab tank so, it would be convenient for me to travel in bus. I had to travel in college bus…yeah u guessed it right, yellow, ugly looking, untidy, stinking buses.

I thought my life was shattered, I was completely disappointed, but the best was yet to come………………

My first day was normal (read damn boring). I was a little nervous, little anxious, little overjoyed (now I was a college student) and mostly amused. My college was a giant building, newly built, having big classrooms, great campus :P; I was amused I didn’t notice it while coming for admission. My seniors were helpful on first day (don’t they now wats ragging?); they showed me the “correct” way to my classrooms (least that I expected). I could see many nervous faces as mine as I entered my class. Some just said a lame “hi” others “hello”. Most disappointing thing was that there were only few girls in my class…that’s all :D!!!

Some days later I did got ragged (not as severely as shown in movies). It was just more like a friendship wit seniors then ragging, they just asked me some personnel info that’s all!! You just need one thing if you are a victim of ragging, loads of confidence and yes, one more thing u need is your ability to lie without being caught (Good luck dude!!).

No probs dude…within a month my group was formed (at last it did… phew!!!) Soon we started bunking lectures, not regularly but only when there was a new release. Soon I started enjoying my college. “We” (henceforth me & my group) used to hang out a lot. My college was situated in d outskirts… It had great campus. In the rainy months, the sight would be perfect(I am a nature admirer). My college was no more boring. We were enjoying every bit of it.

My college changed me to great extent. I became more confident about my self, more sensible, more understandable, more mature (as lecturers in colleges are not as helpful as those in schools) and Grown up!!!

Currently I am in 3rd year of my course. I didn’t come to know when the years passed by. I am enjoying my college life. Not the way I had expected but, (again!!) Better than that I expected. College did change me……… :P

Yeggsam time!!!

2009-05-19T21:10:00.000+05:30

Yeggsam time!!!

Woah. My. Gad.

the exams are here!!

*freak*

AAAAAAAH!!

And you know what the funniest part about exams is? Its precisely the time when you get to know exactly how jobless your friends are.

Trust me on this, I have been hit by a shock of revelation. And to think that I thought I was one of the most jobless people on the earth.

You get so many messages from every one. And when you see the header it says something like "Exam paper leaked", or "Important qns, definite in paper"...

And the moment you see those words you jump for joy, and think "Woohoo!! i ll rock the exam \m/."

Later..

You actually take a look at the rest of the message. Thats when the shock hits you. They write down SO MANY things, you get amazingly nervous.

Think of this. My friend sent me an email ("Yea! I got the questions!"), apparently the exam paper had been leaked in certain colleges. And once I opened it, I had to open this in Adobe Acrobat Reader. Here comes the best part.

There were 42 questions in it. FORTY TWO. :O

For gods sake, there are only EIGHT in the actual paper!! And thats when you realise "Oh my god, all this guy has done is ripped off whatever's in the physics textbook".

And so, after deep thought and consideration of the current scenario, I'm here to offer my advice.

Take this seriously, this will help you not only pass, but pass with flying colours. Trust me. Ok, brace yourself.

Step 1. Study Unit 1

Step 2. Study Unit 2

Step 3. Study Unit 3

Step 4. Study Unit 4

Step 5. Study Unit 5

This should help, try it out.

Really, it should.

My 1st love note

2009-05-19T21:09:00.000+05:30

The first time I saw you

my breath quickened

my pulse pounded

my heart raced

and time stood still.

Every time I see you

the magic still happens ...

Is this what we call love ?

Mind if I ask you one question....Do you love breaking hearts?

2009-05-18T22:10:00.000+05:30

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love..... yet can't live without it ....